Hard to let go

Yesterday, my ex picked me up from work because my car was getting some routine maintenance and detail work done. Remember, we are still very good friends and, of course, he will always be the love of my life.

So I was giving him a more in-depth tour of my condo since he'd only been there once before when I was shopping for it.

"I'd like to repay a debt now if that's all right."

I whirled on him, having been in the middle of showing him my kitchen. "What?" I gasped.

He took my hand and pulled me over to the extra-tall table and chair set in the breakfast nook. He pulled down my jogging pants and boy-cut gray underwear and then helped me into the chair. At this height he barely had to bend down to put his mouth on me.

A stream of expletives flowed from my lips when he put his mouth on me. I tangled my fingers in his hair, desperate for somethingto cling to while he sucked and nipped at my most sensitive spots. It was a ritual he'd perfected over the last decade. His tongue was devastating and I was screaming as I came.

He stood with a wild look in his eye and pulled me to the bedroom I'd shown him before. The sex we had over the next hour was just pure fucking. He knows exactly how hard to be with me and what every scream and moan means.

We did it twice on the bed---each of us taking turns on top, once with me pushed over the bed while he stood and fucked me from behind, once in the tub---to break it in, and then we just laid together in bed.

I don't know what got it started, but it suddenly turned emotional.

"That was really nice," he commented with a sigh.

I played with his chest hair. "It definitely was."

"I miss you a lot, you know."

I laughed at his matter-of-fact tone. "I miss you, too. But we made the right choice."

"You did," he mumbled.

"Excuse me?" What the hell was he talking about??? "Two people signed the divorce papers, remember?"

"I remember not wanting to lose you. But I also knew I couldn't make you happy."

I turned so that I was facing him, propped up on my elbows. "Don't."

"It's true, Abby. I'm just happy we can still have moments like these.". He smiled sweetly, his eyes were becoming moist.

"I still love you..." He would never know how much pain his pain still caused me.

His hand squeezed mine. "And that's enough."